Readers! Hoping this might warrant a gander. What do you think?

Hey Writers, this has an outside chance to be time killing.

The facility is state-of-the-art, all swooping balustrades and huge panes of glass. Mom’s dozing in her wheelchair, and as the lift rises to the clinic on the thirteenth floor, Alyssa brainstorms how she’ll start her article on the procedure. She still can’t shake how excited her editor was, how he’d barely apologised when she pointed […]

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Was I dead on?
Maybe it was just me.